Simply Complicated!

Written about 11 years ago

I have never been into such thing in my life lately. I don’t know where to start and make a point here and then discuss things out. I’m having mixed thoughts and emotions as of the time of writing. There are lots of questions in myself that though I may really have answers, I’m maybe just afraid. As they say, the truth would set you free but I guess I understand why people choose not to confirm the truth; it’s just because they are afraid of the answer. And the reality is something they don’t have the courage to accept and that’s what binds them to the world they try to make real; the world which gives them the happiness they knew that wouldn’t be around if they choose to accept the reality of the moment.

That being said, I am into such thing as well…

I guess the problem just goes with the thing that I don’t really want to settle for anything less. I maybe really a picky type of person. I don’t go and rush things. I know what I like and what I want. And when I have options, I really go for the best and not waste my time with the less options. For what is it having your second or third option when you knew to yourself that you really want the best option?

I always have this girl whom I liked so much and until now the feeling’s the same. They say, “you must be really perpetually attracted to someone you can’t get“. Guess I’m a living testimony for that. Really, I must be a chicken for not pursuing the things I really want or back to what I mentioned above that I maybe really have an answer but I’m just afraid to confirm and get hurt from the truth. And so I guess nothing’s really going to happen here, not until I do something to change this. I’m still thinking that there maybe just a right time in the future, maybe… – HER

Now, I also have this girl whom I like too. What I like about this girl? It’s just the simple thing of being herself and nothing else. I salute her for being so bold in showing who she really is and don’t care about what might other people think of her. That’s absolutely great and I guess you would have to agree on me with this, right? – MY BLOOD MAYBE

Lastly, this last girl I’m going to mention here is currently searching for herself now. Knowing herself more; the things that matter to her and the things that would really make her happy. I liked her before, guess it’s still the same now. I just don’t want to complicate things now for her. I’ll wait and think I’m not yet ready as well.. – MY PRINCESS

Bottomline: I must be really a chicken – coward. I’m much concern about what the people will say about me. I must have really played safe. That’s not right. If only I persevere and get try more to get the best option then it would maybe make a difference. Or if I try to know and get close about this girl whom I like for being simply herself then it would make a difference as well. And then lastly, if I ask and try to get around with the complexity and join in the road with the girl searching for herself then it maybe would really make a difference.

And so now, the question is, “Am I ready to change?

Credit for photo: rezarozali